Cologne Carnival (Koln Karneval) officially begins on the 11th minute of the 11th hour of November 11th and kick starts their Carnival season which then runs until Ash Wednesday. (From Wikipedia, Karneval derives from the Latin "carne vale,” or "meat – farewell,” marking the beginning of Lent.) While the season is a few months long, the famous street-party Carnival is held during the week before Ash Wednesday. This week is also known as “the crazy days” and I was lucky enough this year to be in Cologne from that Sunday till Ash Wednesday. I can tell you that it definitely lives up to its “crazy days” reputation!Thankfully, I had lots of help navigating the craziness for my Carnival experience – one of my good friends (and previous managers), Christian, living in SF now but a Cologne native, planned to be back for Carnival this year as it coincided very conveniently with a work conference we both were planning to attend in Frankfurt beginning the Thursday of that week. It was also a great opportunity for him to come home to visit family and friends and partake in the Carnival craziness. I was the lucky one who got to tag along with all the locals.
Christian graciously invited me to join him and his friends for the Carnival parties and we got all the logistical details figured out beforehand. He gave me recommendations on where to stay in Cologne and told me what his plans were for each day and what the major events were. I thought we had everything worked out when, the night before leaving, I got an email asking, “Do you have any costumes with you? You NEED a costume.” I was thinking, “No, I don’t have a costume – I brought 30 pairs of shoes and my sewing machine to Finland – who has room to pack costumes?!” Besides, what was this? The Stanford GSB (where nearly every party is a costume party)? I could barely fit a week’s worth of normal clothing into a carry on and still do not even know where to buy a mop in Helsinki so buying and packing a costume were out of the question. I figured it was a nice to have anyway; probably fine for the locals and unnecessary for the tourists…
Wow was I wrong! Ten hours later I arrived in Cologne and got on the train to the city. (Which, incidentally, was the first time I have had any Euros in hand since I arrived 7 weeks ago. It is amazing how far a credit card will get you these days!) I boarded the train and sat across from a very nice 65-ish couple…dressed in full clown regalia including crazy red wigs, painted faces, decades worth of Cologne Carnival pins and scarves (mementos of each unique Carnival theme), clown shoes, and hauling bags of snacks and alcohol (for the grandkids and kids, respectively, sitting behind them) to get the family through the day. At the next stop some teenage girls got on the train dressed as a bumble bee and some kind of hippie flower. As the clown couple doled out mini sausages to their clan and downed a couple shots (no, not an exaggeration – this is Germany after all!), I realized I might be in trouble on the costume front.
This fear was confirmed when I got off the train in the Cologne city center. I emerged from the train station to find a sea of half-drunk Germans in the Dom Cathedral square dressed as Vikings, bears, more bumble bees, clowns, cowboys, you name it – someone was dressed up as one! Also, to my surprise, I arrived to more snow…I had been hoping to find dry ground in Cologne so I could run outside (probably the worst thing from my perspective about living in a perpetual snow glob e is that I am stuck on a treadmill!) but no such luck – there was snow and slush on the ground and more snow coming down. I spent the afternoon walking around town admiring the very impressive costumes (and getting nervous about the fact that I did not have one of my own) and eating bratwurst and fries in a snowstorm on the street. At this point I did not realize that I would basically be eating the same meal all week.
Christian met me in Cologne that night on our way to the Cologne Arena for a huge German Carnival-specific comedy show. We were basically in an arena concert venue with stadium seats but were allowed to bring in food and drinks for a 6+ hour show – definitely not something I can see happening in the US! Christian’s friends had obviously done this many times before (probably every year of their lives) and were pros at this point – they brought multiple small (so they would fit in the stadium seats) kegs of Kölsh (Cologne’s famous beer), prosecco and red wine for the non-beer drinkers (yay!), and tons of homemade food…meatballs, pastries with various fillings, German donuts called Berliners, cheese, grapes, veggies, etc. It was a feast! I still cannot believe they made all this food and hauled it into the arena!
The show was all in German but I had a blast nonetheless. Of course, I did not understand any of the jokes but the more prosecco you drink the more understanding the language does not seem to matter anymore. Besides, I had gotten remedial German training from Christian on the train on the way to the arena…I knew how to say “ein Kölsch,” ” zwei Kölsch,” “drei Kölsch,” “Kölle Alaaf!,” and “En Kölle jebutz!” among a few other helpful German phrases (one beer, two beers, three beers, Cologne alive! – a literal translation of the typical Carnival cheer, and Kissed in Cologne - this year’s Carnival theme, respectively). The teaching of these phrases proved to be very entertaining to the 16 year-old girl sitting behind me on the train, incidentally, who was giggling as she listened to an adult being taught to count to three…in beers. Christian had also come through and brought me some costumes to borrow for the few party days and that night I was dressed as a Neanderthal (think Wilma Flintstone outfit) which was his mother’s costume in high school.
I had a great time learning the Carnival songs – which are hilarious if you know their translations (see below for some) – and partying with the crowd. I think we were in the arena for almost seven hours of drinking, eating, watching the many performances (and singing along, of course!) sponsored by the classic Carnival characters of the prince, the virgin, and the farmer. (There is some significance to the choice of these three odd characters but I have to admit that I do not know what it is!) The amazing thing was that the more people drank the even more friendly they became. The Germans, at least at Carnival, are very into putting their arms around friends and strangers, whomever’s closest, and singing and swaying to the classic Carnival songs together. Having been to Mardi Gras a couple times this was completely different – no one got sick, no one passed out, no one started a fight, no one flashed anyone for beads, no one did any of the other disgusting things I have seen at Mardi Gras. It was great! I really loved how traditional everything was, particularly the Cologne Carnival songs which have been sung for years, and by the end of 7 hours and multiple rounds of the same songs I could even sing along to (some) of (many) of them. Some excerpts of my favorites:
Viva Colonia!
Da simmer dabei! Dat is prima! VIVA COLONIA!
Wir lieben das Leben, die Liebe und die Lust
Wir glauben an den lieben Gott und ham noch immer Durst.
Count us in! That's wonderful! Viva Colonia!
We love life, love, and health!
We believe in the Good Lord and always want to drink.
Pizza wunderbar!
Oh la la
willse du eine Pizza?
Oh la la
Pizza wundaba!
Oh la la
Do you want a pizza?
Oh la la
Pizza’s wonderful!
So ein schöner Tag (das Fliegerlied)
Und ich flieg, flieg, flieg wie ein Flieger,
bin so stark, stark, stark wie ein Tiger,
und so groß, groß, groß wie ne Giraffe, so hoch.
Oh oh oh.
Und ich spring, spring, spring immer wieder,
und ich schwimm, schwimm, schwimm zu dir rüber,
und ich nimm, nimm, nimm dich bei der Hand
weil ich dich mag, und ich sag:
Heut ist so ein schöner Tag! La la la la la
Heut ist so ein schöner Tag! La la la la la
Heut ist so ein schöner Tag! La la la la la
Heut ist so ein schöner Tag! La la la la la
And I fly, fly, fly like a plane
I'm so strong, strong, strong like a tiger
Und so big, big, big like a giraffe, so high
Oh oh oh.
And I'm jumping, jumping, still jumping
And I swim, swim, swim to you
And I take, take, take you by the hand
because I like you, and I say:
Today is such a beautiful day, la la la la la
Today is such a beautiful day, la la la la la
Today is such a beautiful day, la la la la la
Today is such a beautiful day, la la la la la
Listen to So ein schöner Tag (das Fliegerlied) here:
Monday’s festivities included the very famous Rosenmontag (Rose Monday) parade which has been held each year since 1823 and was projected to have 1.5 million participants this year, in addition to being broadcast over much of Germany. Given the fact that it began in 1823, the parade is also very traditional with the standard Carnival songs being played and sung throughout and is now an official holiday for the heavily Catholic areas of Germany. Most, if not all, businesses are shut down that Monday and schools are out as well. People push through their hangovers from the night before (at least I did) to put their costumes back on (I was a carrot for the parade – what else would you be?), including those for their children, and head out for a few hours of the parade. The parade itself is interesting too in that, at least in Cologne, everything has a political tilt to it. Each float had its own message or theme and while I could not read them, I got the translations from Christian and they were nearly all focused on local (German or Cologne-specific) politicians and making political statements. Despite the cold this year (apparently one of the coldest Carnivals in decades), costumed families, teenagers, retirees, and everyone in between seemed to be out to watch the parade. The kids ate the candy thrown from the floats while everyone else seemed to be drinking from their flasks (again, this is Germany after all!). We opted instead to have a real lunch (although Kölsch was definitely served in large quantities) consisting of a hard roll with butter and a slab of Gouda cheese, a hard roll with butter and slices of blood sausage, and another hard roll with butter, raw ground pork, and raw onions. Yikes is right. To be fair, even though I stuck my tongue out and gagged like a 5 year-old when Christian ordered, I have to admit that it was all pretty good. The raw pork was especially good after I was able to drown out the “trichinosis” chanting in my head and finally took a bite.
We went straight from the parade to another bar…at 4pm, and began the partying again. I tried to hold off as I had had plenty to drink the day before but after about 10 minutes in a completely packed, smoke-filled, German-singing bar I had to relent – this is not a place you can stay sober! We sang hours more of Pizza Wunderbar! and Viva Colonia! during which I heard many different lines playing off of the very convenient Carnival theme of “Kissed in Cologne.” Some were good, some were bad, but I was just happy to meet some men who, unlike most Finns, would at least talk to me! Another thing I have realized over the past few weeks, and was more extreme in Germany than in Finland, is how completely intolerant I am of smokers at this point. I read something that said that a third of the German population smokes which makes absolutely no sense to me. At the risk of sounding trite, does Germany not have a surgeon general? Should we let them borrow ours?! After several glasses of sparkling wine I was about ready to give some guy smoking next to me and blowing smoke in my face a doozy of a lecture. (I am very happy I had the sense to keep my mouth shut for once!)
Tuesday’s big party is the final one before Carnival ends on Wednesday (or midnight on Tuesday to be exact). The major event this day is the burning of the “nubbel.” The “nubbel” is a “dummy,” like a scarecrow, which each bar provides as the scapegoat who must atone for all the sins of the crowd during Carnival before all is forgotten again on Ash Wednesday and Lent begins. We went out onto the street at midnight to watch the nubbels get hauled out from the bars and passed up to the stage where there was a big fire pit. The nubbels were condemned for all the sins of the crowd…and then basically everything else they could squeeze in there including the bad weather for Carnival this year, the local political issues, global warming, you name it and these nubbels were taking the heat for it (literally, as you can see in the pictures). After each “charge” is made against the nubbel, the crowd yells something to the effect of “down with the nubbel!” in German and all the nubbels are ultimately then burned together while the crowd cheers on. Of course, after the nubbels have been sufficiently punished for their (and your) many sins, you have to go back to the bar to wash it all down with more Kölsch. Naturally.
I have to tell you that as much fun as I had for three days, I was really ready for some detox afterwards! Those Germans truly live up to their drinking reputation in my book – wow! I do not think I will try to compete with them with respect to drinking beer (or against the Finns with vodka) but I am happy to join the party – Viva Colonia!
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